Just a random rant of what happened in class today

So I went into a school as a Teaching Assistant under one of the 2017 TFM fellow, Sui Yang, today. It was all well, until I took over a relief class.

The feeling of defeat and hopeless was real today.

Students were running everywhere, screaming and shouting, pushing one another off the chair. One student even broke a plastic chair in class (yes, I saw it happening in front of my eyes).

I was totally not in control.

When I tried to get them to play a game, half of the class were cooperative and the other half said they would rather sleep, and the classroom was drowned in shouting. In the end I had to tell the other students (who were rather keen on playing a game) that the game cmi. T___T

"Teacher....you have to be more fierce, or they won't listen to you," suggested one student, who probably felt bad for me.

Having attended Chinese Primary School (where, discipline can be as strict as a jail), I really wouldn't want to put on a super strict teacher's persona - Replicating and imposing my childhood nightmares on these students would be my way last resort.

In the end, I decided to let the students buat kerja sendiri (translation: do whatever they want to). And even so, a few students managed to sneak out dash out of the classroom under my nose. The students only came back to the classroom when Sui Yang came over to check on the class T______T

Thank goodness the relief class was only about 40 minutes.

Yes, my confidence level as a teacher definitely took a plunge today. But even so, I won't give up. This is just the beginning, and I know I might face challenges that are far worse than what I've experienced today.

My confidence booster song from Sound of Music always cheers me up when I am down!

Time to prep for a (okay maybe 10 or more!) contingency plan for situation like this again.