Yes, we're 2/3 through July. June has been a month where my priorities are all over the place. And the lockdown blues have definitely been affecting me. Unintentionally, I've deprioritised documenting my learnings - which really shouldn't be the case. Would still like to make time to properly reflect and document insights I've gotten from articles/podcasts/videos, and also once you stop doing something consistently, it is easy to give up completely.
1. 3 healthier ways to cope with criticism, disappointment and defeat - TED
"When a negative emotion strikes, it’s as if we hurriedly reach into the bucket and grab anything to make ourselves feel better. We don’t pay much attention to the kind of coping strategy we pull out and whether it involves self-deception or not. As long as it makes us feel better and it’s halfway plausible, it’ll do."
This article popped up on my social media timeline at the right time - it appeared when I can't help but feel rather defeated and disappointed and have been reaching into my "feel-good" bucket to help myself feel better.
The article suggests these three ways to cope with criticism/disappointment/defeat:
1. Make a plan - Come out with some sort of next steps.
2. Notice silver lining - "A silver lining to any mistake is the lesson you’re going to extract from the experience, which you can use to help save you from similar mistakes in the future."
We often think that the more experienced we get, the less insecure we become - that may not necessarily be true. If we achieved something in a breeze, it might just be because we didn't set a high enough bar for ourselves.
This podcast served as a good reminder to myself :) To the insecurities I often face.
3. There are 5 kinds of clutter — which one is filling your life? - TED
The article shared that there are these five types of clutter:
1. Physical - physical items like books, toys
2. Digital - inbox, large disorganised files
3. Mental - long long to-do lists, your fear, whatever that's in your head
4. Emotional - negative patterns and beliefs (eg: I can't do this, I'm not good enough)
4. Spiritual - lack of forgiveness & peace
Like the author, I'd always pride myself as someone who is aware and intentional about the first two clutters. Little did I know I was inundated by mental and emotional clutter most of the time - my never-ending worries, thoughts etc often punctuate my dreams.
Writing down my mental clutter and having lists helps :)
4. Three checklist templates to motivate you based on your mood energy level - The Financial Diet
Steps:
1. Determine what mood you’re in (and be honest with yoursel f!)
2. Base your set of tasks on step #1
3. Check things off throughout the day (leave room for misses and forgiveness)
The article provided a sample checklist for three different moods which might resonate with you-
(1) For when you're feeling rather meh
(2) For when you're feeling just OK. where you feel that you can take on some tasks but nothing overly ambitious
(3) For when you feel like you're ready to take on the world!
5. The Importance Of Mourning Losses (Even When They Seem Small) - Life Kit NPR
I absolutely love this podcast! I realised that in the month of June, the uneasy feeling I've been feeling was grief - I was grieving about the change of my routine from FMCO. Grieving about leaving my job. Grieving about the absence of my old colleagues when starting a new job. I was going through different stages of grief without me realising it!
The podcast suggests having a "ritual" to mourn your loss. Eg: buying myself my favourite food to celebrate the start of a new job. To write a letter to self when I leave my job. Etc etc.
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That's it for the month of June. Here's to more learning, reflection and growth. Hoping that everyone is doing well :)
If I were to give May a theme, it'd be resonance - most of the articles that I'd be sharing here are articles that resonate with what I've been going through for the month of May 2021
1. There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing - New York Times
"It wasn't burnout -- we still had energy. It wasn't depression -- we didn't feel hopeless. We just felt somewhat joyless and aimless. It turns out there's a name for that: languishing."
"Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you're muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. And it might be the dominant emotions of 2021"
Like many others, I can't help but resonate with "languishing" so much for the past year. We are going through a period of unprecedented uncertainties. We are grieving over the loss of "normalcy: - how life was before the pandemic.
The article gave a few suggestions for us to manage languishing:
1. Acknowledge what & how you're feeling
Put a name to your emotions. When someone asks you how are you feeling, instead of the cookie-cutter "Great" or "I'm fine", be honest and tell them honestly how you're feeling.
I find that accepting and acknowledging my feelings really helped me cope - and helps me dive deeper into the why(s) of my emotions.
2. Find your "flow"
ie do things that make you forget about the sense of time, space and place. It may be watching Netflix, immersing yourself in a book you love, and for me - it's baking. When I start baking, everything else seems to melt away.
The state of "flow" differs for everyone - do things that make you feel happy :)
3. Set boundaries - give yourself uninterrupted time
The magic of boundaries. Now that I'm officially...self-employed/a freelancer, I am setting Sundays as my rest day.
Set aside about 10-30 minute each there where you'll mute your notifications. Give yourself space
4. Focus on a small goal
Create small wins.
2. Here’s how many social media followers you need to make $100,000 - CNBC
No, I'm not seeking to be an influencer at this point in time :p but it's an interesting insight into how many followers & sponsored post you need on YouTube, Instagram and TikTok respectively to generate $100,000 in earnings.
Youtube: 1,000 YouTube subscribers and about 24 million yearly views
Instagram: 5,000 Instagram followers and 308 sponsored posts a year
Tik Tok: 10,000 TikTok subscribers and over 270 million views a year
Content creation is no easy - the amount of time one has to spend editing photos/videos/audio, to structure their content etc. etc. When this blog was at its prime (I was getting daily views of 3k-5k views), I had posts that were sponsored, but it was not enough to make a living out of what I was getting. In fact, I don't think it covered my cost of travelling to the place where I had to do the review etc etc :p but back then as a student, blogging was a hobby I truly enjoyed, I get to know many new friends and it opened many doors for me. Definitely worth it, but not something I can pursue full time, at least this is what I think now. :P
3. Loss and Renewal: Moving Forward After A Door Closes - Hidden Brain
"No matter how hard we work, we won’t always achieve the goals we set for ourselves."
This podcast starts off with the story of Maya Shankar. Maya was well on her way to an extraordinary career as a violinist, but an injury closed that door. She eventually found a new path forward in a very different field.
This struck me close to heart - being someone who has shifted industries...to switch my career path and close the door behind me. It gives me the reassurance that well, it's not the end of the world when one door closes.
This episode ended with the poem, One Art by Elizabeth Bishop
4. Why You Should Take Time to Mourn During Career Transitions - New York Times
what informs that connection to work is the human need for a sense of belonging, said Beth Humberd, an assistant professor of management at UMass Lowell.
“We want to be a part of something, and we want to be seen as needed in an area,” she said.
Dr. Wrzesniewski added that for many people, what they do professionally is symbolic of other things. “It’s symbolic of the things you care about,” she said. “It’s symbolic of your talents. It’s symbolic of your offering to the world.”
I've just recently left my job - and I find myself nodding vigorously while reading this article. On the days leading up to my final workday, I find myself feeling sad, empty, lost, and sometimes I felt as though I have no sense of purpose. Reading this article helped me make sense of why I was feeling so :) What I was feeling was essentially grief.
The article also shared some tips on how to manage those feeling:
1. Expect the feeling of grief
Accept & expect it will come - and it may be different for everyone. You might feel sadness, anxiety, anger, or a combination of different emotions. Know that it is normal, and like any other emotions, this too shall pass.
2. Have a succession plan
Plan how you'll be phasing out from your career - it might be creating a list of things you've done, or compiling all the important document related to your work.
“It’s really important to value the complexity of what goes on at work. It isn’t this experience where you just execute tasks,” Dr. Orbé-Austin said. “There are really complex, dynamic growth experiences that are occurring, and when you experience loss, you’re acknowledging the full breadth of all you experienced at that workplace.”
5. Managing Oneself by Peter Drucker
Saw this on Minshift's Facebook page and thought these are good reflections questions that we should ask ourselves :)
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That's it for this month's round-ups. Take care and stay safe everyone, looks like we're in for a longer lockdown in June...
A very very late post (Wow wait we've already passed the midpoint of May?). We're back into lockdown, and I've been keeping myself busy by baking cookies, my new side gig. Hoping to be able to share more about this in an upcoming blog post :D. But for now, here's a round-up of some of the Good Reads/Podcasts/Videos I've came across in April 2021.
1. Are some homebuyers in Malaysia paid to borrow and buy? - Edge Prop
Some of the key points from this article:
- Number of properties going into auction in Malaysia has been going on a worrying uptrend since 2015. In fact, the value of properties ending up in auction has been growing at a much faster pace compared with annual new property sales.
- We have a large overhang of unsold properties but developers are still aggressively launching new projects at a high price.
- Property prices in the secondary market is weak, which is reflective of the real underlying property demand. See the disconnect here?
- The auction reserve price is just about 78%, on average, of the Sale & Purchase Agreement (SPA) price, based on the data collected in this article, compared to our neighbour Singapore, where the auction reserve price does not run far from the actual SPA price.
Why is this happening? The writer deduced that the SPA pricemight be artificially inflated by the developer — above the prevailing market prices for similar units within the vicinity.
This is an open secret that some developers then offer discounts-rebates to homebuyers — typically 10% of the SPA price, in some cases much more. In other words, the SPA price is overstated by at least 10%.
Mortgages are given based on SPA pricing. For example, buyers can get up to 90% loan on this amount for their first two properties. Therefore, by inflating the SPA price, homebuyers are incentivised to buy because they can now effectively obtain 100% financing. House price = SPA price less 10% discount = total mortgage financing.
A lot of property marketing /discount scheme now suddenly makes a lot of sense to me. I was often confused about how some people tell me they managed to obtain up to 100% financing, and now I can see the whys and hows.
We've just entered into MCO 3.0, the second round of lockdown this year. We are going through difficult times now - I'd like to acknowledge that I am feeling rather upset, when I've slowly gotten used to going out a little, meeting more friends. And these feelings are normal too - we've been under lockdown on and off. Most of us are experiencing some sort of lockdown fatigue.
But I understand that the situation now is dire and we should all do our part and stay home.
I'd still like to be grateful that I still have a roof over my head. To have food on my table. To still have friends I can talk to when I need them.
(This is me practising the reminders in this article - to acknowledge and accept what I'm going through and feeling, and to be grateful for what I have)
This is a summary of the book, The Great Mental Models by Shane Parrish. I really love the three foundations of thinking presented in this book, namely the I.F.S.:
1) Inversion
- if you're facing difficulty solving a problem/brainstorming for an idea, try inverting your problem
- eg: instead of thinking about how to create a fun & interactive lesson, think of how you can create a boring and dull lesson - and avoid them!
2) First Principle Thinking
- Drill down to why a solution works - question and drill down to why existing solutions work, find out the fundamental component on why it works!
- Eg: if your friend is enjoying his/her career, try to drill down why he/she likes the career, don't stop at the face value! Use the first principle of thinking and drill down to the why(s)
- Examine, test and understand solutions
3) Second-Order Thinking
- Before implementing a solution/taking an action, think beyond the outcome you're going for, and try to think of the reaction you might get from your actions, to avoid disastrous consequences
- Eg: you are a CEO of the company trying to get your employees back to the office after working from home for a year. Your intended outcome is to improve the culture, which might be achievable by getting everyone back to the office. However, what is some of the reactions you may obtain that will lead to unintended consequences? Employees might feel unsafe or realise how much they dislike commuting every day, after being used to working from home for so long and might eventually leave the company
This book is definitely on my to-read list!
4. The Insanely Simple Way I Learned To Be Useful In Every Meeting - Fast Company
Meetings. We all have a love-hate relationship with meetings. There are times where we might not have a total understanding and grasps of what is going on in the meeting.
My main takeaway from this article is to not pretend you know everything if you ever find yourself in this situation.Pretending to know something takes up headspace. Instead, focus on what you will allow you to better showcase your strength. Take a step back from the urge of wanting to pretend that you know everything.
5. Why we’re experiencing ‘Zoom fatigue’ and how to fix it - CNBC
Oh yes, in this era of Zoom, 'Zoom fatigue' is a real thing many are experiencing. It doesn't help that we're back in lockdown again, where we're forced to shift all our meetings and social interaction to online platform. I often feel drained and it takes some time for me to recover my productivity back after having a Zoom conference so this article was helpful in helping me delve into the whys of this, and the hows on how to overcome this.
The four main reason why we experience 'Zoom fatigue':
- Videoconferencing forces users to make extended eye contact
- It requires us to use nonverbal signals, such as nodding, which require more effort
- The little box where users see themselves is unnatural
- Users are forced to sit in one place.
Ways to overcome 'Zoom fatigue':
- Hide self-view.
- Shrink the Zoom window to make other people a little bit smaller, or sit further away from your screen
- Turn off your camera and take a five-minute audio-only break during a long meeting to give yourself a chance to move around.
- Set cultural norms with your co-workers that it’s OK to turn off the camera sometimes.
Personally, want to try hiding my own camera view the next time I feel exhausted from Zoom meetings.
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That's it for the Good Reads/Podcasts/Videos of the month! Stay safe and take care everyone!
I realised my Good Reads post have this trend/theme around self-improvement article - a little realisation/wake-up call that I should probably try to branch out a little and read more about other topics (Eg: business, finance), But in the month of March 2021, I found myself struggling at work a little and procrastinating over tasks, which led to the discovery of these articles. Thank you Google and algorithms.
Procrastination has always been associated with "laziness", but there are reasons beyond that - this article explained the three common type of procrastinators, illustrated in the chart below.
This article came in timely as I have been finding myself procrastinating a lot recently. I realised that I am falling into the "Decisional Procrastinator" category - I find myself procrastinating both at work and out of work - and the description seems to match what I feel.
One simple example - I have always wanted to promote the content of my blog, but this has never really taken off because I kept procrastinating, finding excuses to put off this simple task, and telling myself I'll do so when "I'm good enough". But what is good enough? How do you know if the content is "good enough"?
What is it that is holding me back? Upon reflection, I realised that I am afraid of judgement from others - on how what I write is not good enough, could be better etc etc etc. Which is honestly a silly glass ceiling I have created for myself.
I know I've just got to believe in myself more, and just do it.
This flows nicely into the next article I'd like to share...
Now that you have identified what type of procrastinator you are, now let's talk about how we can try to overcome it. This article from Life Hacker gave some pretty good suggestions and mindset changes/next steps you can try to get over procrastinating :)
I'd definitely want to be mindful to always keep the bigger picture in my mind.
I started this blog to share about the food I love, places I've been that I want others to know about, and now some random stuff which I thought will be helpful to others too (eg: all these articles I am sharing), and this is something I want to keep in my mind :)
I am starting to journal my thoughts and try to identify the why(s) of my fear - I realised when I put my thoughts into words, I am able to see through my irrationality (sometimes) :)
This video was introduced in one of the online course I've been taking on Coursera. My main takeaway from this video -
There are six strategies to help increase your influence of persuasion, namely:
1) Reciprocity - give what you receive, vice versa. Be the first to give, personalise it, and make it unique to increase persuasion!
2) Scarcity - people tend to say yes when they learnt about what they stand to lose
3) Authority - be the subject matter expert to be persuasive
4) Consistency - be consistent with past & future effort
5) Liking - people are more likely to be persuaded by people who are similar to them
6) Consensus - people are more likely to be persuaded if everyone else is doing the same
Which strategy do you want to try out? I find myself resonating with liking the most - a good chance to get to know people while trying to get buy-ins :P
I love the reflection questions in this article! These questions are helpful for one to understand their strength, values and purpose. Here are the seven key questions from the article:
1. What have you accomplished this year/during x?
This helps you create a positive mindset when you're entering the new year/phase
2. What makes you come alive?
What tasks are you completing? What kind of environment are you working in? Who are you interacting with?
3. What do you not want?
4. What can you accomplish by yourself?
ie your achievement that is not reliant on anyone else
5. How are you spending your time each day?
6. What would your perfect day look like? 7. What helps you find resilience every day?
Think about what helped you get through especially turbulent days this year: How did you organize your time? How much flexibility did you need from your boss in order to do your best job at home and at work? What did you do to take care of yourself each day?
After I've reflected on these questions, I realised that I appreciate learning opportunities, having a set of hobbies that is completely different from the work I do, having social interactions for my career :D
I feel like lockdown & social distancing has robbed some of my ability to socialise & get to know others - so if you're feeling what I'm feeling you might find these questions helpful to kickstart your next conversation :P I love these questions as I think these are not just great conversation starters, but are also great reflection questions for ourselves too :)
1. What's your story?
2. What absolutely excites you right now?
3. What was the highlight of your day (or week)?
4. What gets you up in the morning?
5. What is your whole reason for existing--your "why"?
6. What's the most important thing I should know about you?
7. Why did you choose your career or line of business?
8. What is one of your most defining moments in life?
9. What's the best thing that's happened to you this year?
10. When's the last time you failed spectacularly at something?
(Disclaimer: a lot of goals listed here still operate like a SMART goal)
I love these strategies listed in this article! A lot of time, goal-setting feels overwhelming to me, with that nagging feeling of "you have to do x and y!". If you're like me, you find want to try out some of these strategies!
1. Anti-Goals
What are things that might hamper you from achieving your goals?
Eg: rather than telling yourself not to procrastinate, why not try setting an anti-goal of "not spending time on the phone more than 10 minutes during work" etc.
2) Micro-goals
Micro-goals are simply your goals, broken down into bite-sized chunks
I love micro-goals. They help me build habits and gives me a better sense of accomplishment. I've been setting micro-goals for some of my day-to-day goals so that it's much more attainable :) (eg: reading one paragraph per day, rather than reading a chapter per day, because some days things can be so overwhelming and you really don't feel like doing anything. But one paragraph is still doable on those days!)
3) Having a theme
Setting up a theme can help you work consciously towards what you want - be it health, learning, growth.
I've never tried this before and I'm now curious to set up a monthly theme. I'd want my April to be a month of health, where I'd want to cut down on my sugar and alcohol consumption :P
4) Change of environment
"You are what you eat"
"You are who you hang out with"
Sounds familiar? Well because your environment largely dictates your habits.
If you want to achieve your goal of being healthy, it'd be helpful to keep your environment free of junk food. Want to learn how to speak a certain language? Surround yourself with those who speak the language you'd want to practice.
I've got to admit - I'm guilty of these habits at times. Here are the four habits detailed in the article:
1. Looking good
Do you sometimes give out a "hard to impress" vibe? Do you wait impatiently for the other person to finish speaking so that you can assert your point (and you usually start with an "anyway...")? Do you sometimes redirect a conversation from the other party to yourself?
For example, let’s say I enthuse, “We’re so excited to be going to Greece on holiday this year.” The competitive speaker will jump in with, “Oh yes, I’ve been to Greece six times and I love it!” My feeling: deflation. My joy has been made to look second-rate.
These habits here might be a kill-joy - it might put an end to the conversation, as these habits sap the joy out of the conversation for the other party!
2. Being right
We all have the desire to be right - but this desire to be right may sabotage our relationship.
The need to be right can arise from a fear of being disrespected. Or it may come out of the fear of being seen as we really are, as flawed human beings who are perfectly imperfect and full of contradictions and confusions.
3. People pleasing
Do you say yes when you don't intend to because you're worried about what the other people might think of you? This robs your speech of power.
4. Fixing
Trying to "fix" emotions - saying phrases like "Don’t cry” or “Don’t be upset” is a leech, as sometimes people need to be upset and to express their grief, sadness, anger or other strong negative emotions.
I cringed reading the examples - they all sounded so familiar, especially on "Looking Good" - I often catch myself saying "anyway...", as a way to divert the conversation. I wonder if I am falling under the trap of wanting to talk about myself too much, and "looking good"? Being aware is the first step, being aware is the first step....to eradicate some of these habits of mine.
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That's it for this month's sharing - now I shall live April as the month...of health :P
This episode highlights the link between gratitude and emotions - the practice of gratitude affects our emotions, which in turn influence how you react to a certain situation.
This episode blew my mind a little - there are tones of articles out there highlighting the importance and benefits of practising gratitude, but none of them caught my attention like this podcast. This podcast made me realise how our emotions play such a big role in our actions, and also affects our self-control.
emotions are a mechanism to help us navigate the future, not just an accounting system to tabulate the past, that might explain why some emotions seem to help us do difficult things
emotions set our expectations for how we should react in any given situation we're in. And so simply by making people feel grateful, it alters the way their brain assigns value
I resonated so much with this article. Admittedly, the pandemic has put a strain on me, in terms of my relationship with others, and also my personal wellbeing. I was rather distraught when I saw friends & family gathering during festivals/holidays on social media,
As much as I want to see some of my friends and family, I feel that there is a huge risk that I don't want to bear, and it is really not the time. I do miss hanging out with friends, and I don't like how I've started to judge others based on what I see on social media.
This is an extremely helpful especially if you have been cooking/baking a lot and searching for recipes online :D
Cooking/Baking something new can be intimidating - because you're essentially trying out something new and you won't know the outcome until you try. I feel dejected whenever I try a new recipe I try out didn't work out - I've not just wasted money on ingredients, but also my time and effort :<
My three main takeaway from this article:
1. Every oven is unique, and you may have to adjust your "baking time"
2. Pay attention to the bakeware used in recipe (is it a metal bakeware? Glass? Ceramic?) - different bakeware affects how your food gets cooked in the oven.
3. Pay attention to the ingredients used in recipe - are they of a particular brand? Try to stick to that brand, if possible. The benefit of these "mass produced" ingredients are that the taste from these "mass produced" ingredients are typically consistent!
I use a dark-coloured baking tray - and hence I notice my baking time may be shorter than the baking time stated in most recipes as dark colour absorb heat faster
Instead of saying, “I’m stuck, I can’t come up with anything good,” it’s far more effective to say, “I’ve finished this, and now I need to make it better.” Or possibly “I finished this, and it can’t be made better, but now I’m ready to do the new thing, because look at all I’ve learned.”
This is the story of every human innovation.
This is the story of every good idea, every new project, every pop song, every novel.
There was a bad idea. And then there was a better one.
If you want to complain that you don’t have any good ideas, please show me all your bad ideas first.
This article really hit me - because I do find myself beating myself up for coming up with "bad ideas" - but wait, where are the bad ideas? First, you've got to come out with bad ideas, then make improvement on the "bad ideas".
Often time, I stop myself from doing something because I think it'll be bad - but without even trying, without even coming out with something, how do I know it's bad? I'm not even giving myself a chance to work on it, to improve it, to make it good.
We’re a community of critics and tweakers and tinkerers. The reason is simple: It’s safer. People rarely criticize the critic. And beyond that, it’s not that hard to use sandpaper. It’s a lot more difficult to use a bandsaw, or even to use a pencil to draw the plans in the first place.
No one is keeping you from posting your video.
No one is keeping you from blogging every day.
No one is keeping you from hanging your artwork.
The only way to get through the steps is to do the steps.
"Here’s the key: You need to spend time on the future even when there are more important things to do in the present and even when there is no immediately apparent return to your efforts. In other words — and this is the hard part — if you want to be productive, you need to spend time doing things that feel ridiculously unproductive.
A question I hear a lot is: What about all the things I actually need to get done? Don’t I need to get through my cluttered email box, my pressing conversations, my project plans in order to create space to focus on my future self?
Nope.
That’s a trick your busy self plays on you to keep you away from the scary stuff you’re not yet good at and that isn’t yet productive. Sometimes you need to be irresponsible with your current challenges in order to make real progress on your future self. You have to let the present just sit there, untended. It’s not going away and will never end. That’s the nature of the present."
I have to admit - I fall into this trap a lot. In order to avoid feeling "uncomfortable" doing task that I deem unfamiliar, I'd keep myself busy with menial tasks - which might create a false sense of productivity, and worse, not growing in my role.
Even writing this blog post feels really uncomfortable - I want to be able to articulate what I've learnt & read in articles and hence I'm writing this blog post, although it is taking up a lot of time and I feel as though I am engulfed in insecurities
Here's to venturing out to do more things that feels uncomfortable.
According to the article, the three types of burnout are:
1. Burnout by volume - triggered when you're constantly being booked, back-to-back, having almost no time to yourself
2. Burnout by boredom - triggered by the feeling of boredom at work, when you don't feel challenged or when you're feeling uninspired
Didn't know this could be a thing and upon reflecting, I realised I did feel tired and worn out before because I feel as though I have nothing much too
3. Burnout by socialisation - triggered when you put others ahead of your needs too often
This article gave me a light bulb moment - I've experienced burnout when I wasn't dead busy and I was wondering why I felt tired and uninspired, seems like I had a case of burnout by boredom there!
1. No emails before a certain time / No emails after a certain atime
5. Schedule 15 minutes of alone time every day
12. Ask yourself these two questions
When you’re making tough choices and deciding what to do in a certain situation, ask yourself…
- What would my future self in five years decide?
- What is the end goal I want from this?
13. Create a list of three priorities for every day (do this the night before)
24. Refuse to indulge in “I don’t know” or being “stuck”
Instead of allowing yourself to sit in “I don’t know,” switch to “I’m figuring it out.” At least this gives you momentum. Like Wayne Dyer says, “You are not stuck unless you decide to be.”
Certainly want to try out some of this mini rules! Thinking of writing a blog post about my own mini rules hmm.
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That's it for the month of February! See you in March :P
One of my goals to ensure my personal growth this year is to listen to at least one podcast per day. And to ensure I am really "absorbing" the lesson, I'd like to document and share some of the insightful podcasts, as well as articles & videos (why limit myself to podcasts!) I've come across the month :) Hope you'll find them insightful too!
"2) A Crisis Doesn’t Change People; It Amplifies Who They Already Are"
"People who thought they were extroverted realized they were introverted. People who believed they were introverts discovered they were actually quite extroverted. In both cases, people realized that much of what they thought was their personality was merely molded by social pressures."
I really resonated with some of the life lessons from the article, especially the life lesson above.
Having a lot of quiet time during the lockdown, I was able to properly reflect and was not able to "distract" myself by going out.
I did the 16 personalities test and found out that I am now an introvert. (Though, a borderline one). This will probably surprise me if it was a year ago. I somehow find myself appreciating quiet time on the weekend more now. This used to scare me - and I realised that I was afraid of idle time, or free weekends without a plan, because I wanted to be actively engaging in something, to distract myself from problems I was facing. I've been allowing myself to feel bored at home and I find that my random drive to do something usually comes out when I'm bored at home.
My current persona! I took the test a year ago and I was a Protaganist.
PS I don't swear by personalities tests, but I do enjoy taking personalities tests to try to understand myself better and read on about nsights and tips helpful for self-improvement.
"We're spending three times longer on the apps that don't make us happy."
Now that we're in lockdown again, I realise my screen time has been increasing, which is inevitable. Work is done on screen. Communication has to be done on screen. Most of my hobbies (eg: blogging, reading) are done on screen.
(I am trying to find the meme that has been going around Facebook...it basically depicts how we spend both our workday and wind-down time staring at the screen)
Listening to this TED Talk made me more self-aware on how I'm spending my screen time. I believe that not all screen time is making us less happy - the danger starts is when we start deriving an unrealistic benchmark based on what we see on our screen. When we start comparing ourselves with others through what we see on social media.
This falls under this list as I was really inspired and amazed by this Youtuber. How she takes action on her curiosity. This video is also insightful, especially on the tax part of owning a company. Do check it out :D
I struggle in exuding confidence, especially because I've decided to go on a career/industry switch in 2020 - I always feel that other people can do better than me. I allowed my inner voice to tell me that "I am not good enough" or "I need more experience". I feel that if I start showing I am confident, does it mean that I am being arrogant and complacent?
If you're like me, this article/podcast is worth reading/listening to :) The article/podcasts helped me see the difference between exuding confident, and exuding "arrogance".
"According to Psychology Today:
Confidence is a belief in oneself, the conviction that one has the ability to meet life's challenges and to succeed—and the willingness to act accordingly."
"Confidence is knowing you don’t know everything and having the humility to recognize that other people's good ideas won’t dull your shine."
The article also suggested some key actions you can take to build up your confidence. Definitely will be mindful to try out these tips!
"The conviction that you have the ability to meet a challenge begins with being super clear about what challenge you’re there to meet. Before an important interaction, ask yourself: What’s my role in this, and what am I expected to influence or deliver?"
My personal next steps: Always understand my purpose and expectations on you at a particular time/event. Listen intently! Ask questions!
Communication is more important than ever, especially now that we are all working remotely. I've always preferred follow-up in person when I don't get reply because when you communicate in person, you have your body language and tone of voice to set things straight without sounding like you're being overly desperate/accusing. However, as in-person communication is now
I like how to article outlined clear, tangible steps you can take to follow-up. Definitely will be practising these steps when I encounter these situations!
Now that we all are working remotely, we should have had more time to ourselves, right? Since we save time commuting, getting ready to work etc. Despite so, I sometimes find myself not knowing where all these extra time went - I am still producing the same amount of work/output despite having more time to myself. This article is a reminder to all these teeny tiny time traps in our every day life that may seem teeny tiny but is actually not!
"Time trap #1: Technology interruptions break our hours into confetti
Technology saves us time, but it also takes it away — this is known as the autonomy paradox."
This articles also reminded me of the value of time, which I think we often overlook. The opportunity cost of time.
"Time trap #3: We undervalue our time
Because of a cultural obsession with money, many people protect their money in ways that are counterproductive to time affluence."
I've to admit, I'd rather save money than save time. For example, I'd rather spend about one hour to go out and grab food, rather than paying for delivery services to get the food delivered to me. Time for me to reflect on how can I better spend my time if I were to spend money to save those time. Would I be wasting that extra time away if I do so? It's time to reflect!
Homemade ramen from scratch!
I realise I spend a lot of time cooking, baking, and going out to grocery shops to hand-pick my ingredients. But this is a part of my time I don't regret spending at all - simply because I find cooking/baking/grocery shopping a way for me to wind down and relax :) I also get a huge sense of accomplishment from these tasks!
I received a 360 feedback from one of the intern I work with at work stating that I say sorry too much - a lot of time when it is not required.
If you're like me - I'd highly recommend you to read this article. It outlines why you shouldn't say sorry all the time, and it gives tangible actions you can adopt to overcome this. (Spoiler alert: they even suggested a Google Plugin to help you overcome this problem!)
I am trying to be mindful of when I use "sorry". It's definitely not easy, as I realised that saying sorry has someone became a habit to me. But definitely something I have to work on!
Let's face it - working from home is hard. There are days when you really don't feel like doing anything at all.
I really like the tips given by the article. I swear by the little rituals and routines. Nowadays, I'd brew my own cup of coffee in the morning and this little ritual really do give me that satisfaction and strength to start a day, even if it's just a little bit :P
Or petting my dog first thing in the morning
Time to time after a long day of work, I'd reward myself with a little treat.
The article mentioned something about identifying trigger points - I think I'm at the stage where I'm unsure what my triggers are, because time to time I feel as though I fall in a slump for no reasons at all. There might be a reason that I am not aware of, something for me to be mindful of.
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That's it for this month's round-up of good reads/podcasts/videos :D
Personal reflection: I realised that I tend to find "how-to"s articles/videos/podcasts insightful. Wonder if I'd continue this trend in the coming months.
Social Media to me is a double-edged sword. While it helps me keep in touch with our friends and family, especially now during this pandemic where face-to-face interaction is not encouraged, it is easy to make unhealthy comparisons about yourself with others, get absorbed in "doomscrolling" and not realising I'm letting time slip away through social media.
I do try to limit my time spent on social media, and try to make it as meaningful as possible. I've discovered many social media accounts which are insightful, which have led to me gaining new perspectives and knowledge.
And hence, I've decided to compile a few of my favourite social media accounts which have helped me gain new insights and knowledge, and I hope that it'd benefit you as well :)
Besides personal finances, Suyin also publishes vlog where she shares about some of her personal reflection/struggles etc, which I have to echo, is not often talk about and it is definitely very refreshing to hear someone talk about it on social media :)
*PS: topics covered by this channel is actually quite broad, ranging from personal finances, personal growth and wellness etc. But they mainly pivot on personal finance (which is evident too from their channel's name)
Why I love this channel:
The content shared is very relevant to the young generation. I like how the content also takes references from the latest pop culture (eg: this video about life & money lesson from Emily in Paris).
I discovered about the sinking fund system through this channel. If you've read my previous posts, you'd know that I'm a hugeeee sinking fund advocate :P
I've also gotten a lot of inspiration to improve myself from this channel (eg: a this video about distraction journal, and this video about quirky frugal habit the writer is not ashamed aboutboosted my confidence in sticking to my budget when I'm hanging out with my peers, as I often feel pressured to just hide this frugal side of me and "go with the flow", even if it means blowing my budget when I hand out with my peers.
Similar to Suyin - personal finance made simple & localised content. Besides sharing about personal finances related topics, Suraya, the writer, publishes this "Weekly Links Roundups" which usually features really insightful articles/news.
I also enjoy her blog posts where she breaks down costs of something (eg: her wedding), and her monthly expenses report. It is an eye-opener to me, especially because talking about money is somewhat a taboo in our culture. I do feel that we should really talk more about finance though - there's so much we can learn from one another when we're open to talking about budgeting and finances.
I just discovered this channel like last week, and I've been binge-watching his videos non-stop lol!
His videos are not only informative but extremely addictive and fun to watch! He does very comprehensive and informative on-site property reviews/virtual tour. He ends every property review with a "Sean Take 3 on 3", where he talks about the three things he likes about the property, and 3 things he doesn't like about the property, and he's honest about the pros and cons of each property he reviews.
I also enjoy his "Ask Me Anything" video series where he answers questions from his subscribers, mostly property-related. His video dissecting about the Sales & Purchase Agreeemtn (SPA) is by far one of the most informative content about SPA I've ever came across
Audrey has such a soothing voice too and her videos exude this calm vibe :)
If you've been reading my previous posts, you'd noticed that I've been dropping her name quite often. The video below was one of the first video of her I've watched and left a lasting impact on me :)
OK I typically only watch videos on this channel that features this host, June Xie.
Why I love watching June:
1. She is probably the only Youtube chef out there that shamelessly reuse things (eg: parchment paper, produce bags, reduce, reuse, recycle people!)
2. She uses leftovers and expired condiments like nobody's business (expired sauce? Does it smells ok? OK? Alright in it goes!)
3. She explains a lot on the why(s) of a certain method
4. She's good at explaining the how(s) too
5. AND she's so brutally honest about her feelings sometimes in her videos
6. Her sense of humour!
1 & 2 is so refreshing to see on social media.
Please, just do yourself a favour and watch some of her budgets eats video. Or her baking video shot in the Delish test kitchen. Her videos are often 30 minutes ~ 1 hour but I'll assure you, you won't even realise how much time has passed when you watch June videos, and you'll definitely learn quite a bit from her!
I personally learnt a lot too from June's personal Instagram account, where she'd share her views on some news, and also some food wisdom
I'd also recommend listening to this podcast where she was featured in below - one key message that I particularly love from her is to always eat what you love. And don't judge what other people eat. This is very true! I always find that food is very subjective, and sometimes, usually, unintentionally, we'd judge someone for the food they eat, which honestly shouldn't happen. I know I sometimes do that too - unintentionally. And we shouldn't be embarrassed of what we eat too :)
This channel deep dive into the rise and falls of certain companies, typically big names, and do in depth analysis of the how(s) and why(s). You can learn SOOOO MUCH from this channel.
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That's it for now - these are the social media accounts which I'd religiously watch/read whenever they release new content :) There are of course more which I did not include (eg: plants-related channel! But I follow too many of them and they're really good, worried that this post might be never ending:P) There are of course more out there which I have yet to discover, would love to hear what's your favourite social media accounts and why you love them too :D
I wanted to reflect on my purchases in 2020 and properly analyse which purchases have really impacted me in a positive way, and which purchases have been unnecessary. And hence, this post.
I'll start with the best purchases :) I'll try my best to best as honest as I can to myself.
I know. Me myself was utterly shocked at myself when I made this purchase. I bought this mixer there and then at a physical shop in a mall...when I knew I probably could have gotten it cheaper online.
(Anyway - the price has dropped by RM200 ishh :((( but oh well this happens)
Dog to scale...it is a...huge mixer
Butttt. It just felt right after viewing and having the salesperson to answer my queries and concerns. I was worried that I might regret my purchase since it was done rather a haste. *trying hard to justify my haste purchase)*
Okay yes I admit it was bought off an impulse. A strong impulse. But I think this is definitely one of my best purchase in the year 2020. Owning a stand mixer has been a game-changer. Making bread and cakes has never been easier. I did a very brief review of this stand mixer and also documented how I chose a stand mixer in this blog post.
See how tot and tight the dough produced by the stand mixer is!
I can easily make bread at home, even on weekdays as most time is passive! I'll just leave it on and do my work at a side and tend to it the dough is almost ready. The only downside of owning this machine is that I am using the oven really frequent now and my electricity bill has since skyrocketed...oopsie. But honestly, I felt much more confident trying out new recipes after I've acquired this stand mixer :) This stand mixer is like the fuel to my already burning bright hobby of baking :p
With the prolonged remote working arrangement now, having a proper chair has been more crucial than ever. I used a simple plastic chair from IKEA that costs probably around RM30 ss my work chair. It works fine, BUT, I realised that it wasn't ideal for working long hours after two weeks into the WFH situation and decided to invest in a proper chair. I opted for the Flintan after much research, because it seems to be the most affordable chair that provide ergonomic support.
However, as I tend to slouch (unconsciously)...I still do get neck and/or backaches. But it's a lot better compared to when I didn't even use a proper ergonomic chair, as the structure of the chair forces me to somewhat sit properly. Not 100% properly, but at least better than before.
I have always wanted to buy one of these lap desk because I'm a lazy bump that enjoys using the laptop on her bed. I bought this the moment CMCO 2.0 was announced in October, knowing that we will be spending more time indoors, I thought why not try out one of these.
In the end, I barely used it on the bed because....one day my laptop slid and fell off the bed while using this. Ouch.
(Laptop is doing well so far. Hope it stays okay. Yes I know I am careless human being)
Despite so. This has been one of the best purchases I've made last year because:
1) It helps me ensure that my eyes are 180 to the screen. I now use it to level my laptop screen and my eyes on my desk.
2) I've never used my laptop on the bed since (after a painful lesson huhu)
Having a cast iron skillet allowed me to explore recipes that I wasn't able to explore previously such as pork Carnitas, Dak-Galbi, baked pasta, Japanese Char Siew. I use my cast iron pan as a "steamer" too in my oven when baking crusty bread.
I love that I can dump the cast iron skillet straight from the stovetop to the oven.
Dak-Galbi on my cast iron (:
Note that you can still try out the recipes I've mentioned above without a cast iron pan :) I just love the extra "char" from the cast iron pan.
I was surprised by the fact that I opted to go to a saloon, to be honest. If you know me I'm one of the biggest cheapskate when it comes to these kind of spending. I am the type of people who believe that it's much more worth it to buy a box of dye for about RM30-50 and DIY at home! Why would I pay like ten folds more when I can do it for cheap myself!
But somehow. Somehow. Not sure how and why. But when I saw a targetted advert on my Facebook account by Kimmarie SS2, offering a cut & wash + dye + hair colour lock treatment service for RM199 (extra RM50 surcharge for hair length that exceeds shoulder), I decided to give it a go.
Good job, Facebook ad algorithm. Because I think that was one of the best decision I've ever made. LOL.
~SyOk sEnDiRi zone~
but hey! this little makeover made me feel good and confident about myself :) It wasn't a drastic change but I liked the change it brought to me :)
My hairdresser was Chong Iu, he was really patient in explaining the types of hair colour that would look good and last longer with my hair colour, which was pretty jet black at that time. He recommended me to either go for Copper Black, which has a nice brown shade BUT is higher in maintenance as the colour tend to fade to a dirty brown colour, or ash brown, which would go lighter as time passes and is deemed more 'low maintenance'. I decided to go for the latter.
It's been six months since I dyed my hair and the colour is holding itself strong. I still like how it looks till date, even though my black hair has since grown out. I quite like the change in the shade of colour from black to brown!
6) New pillow from Akemi
Price: Less than RM10, purchased using vouchers given by my school as a farewell gift
I've had my old pillows for...god knows how many years. I've gotten myself a contour pillow from Akemi and I absolutely love it, been sleeping much better after the swap :) ! Pillows are an investment worth splurging on as it ensures a good night sleep!
I love these masks from A Mask Story so much! Despite being 5-layers with filters built-in, I find them comfy and breathable :) They fit nicely and the straps are adjustable.
I am currently using my second face mask from them. I've read somewhere that it is recommended that we change our reusable face mask once every six months or so. I've tried Uniqlo's one but I find that Uniqlo's one is not as breathable and it doesn't fit me as nicely as this one from A Mask Story :)
Reusable mask = reduce the usage of disposable mask!
You may get these mask on Aeon online store or in-store :) You'll see them everywhere around the payment counters. Wow it's only RM9.90 now on their online store :O
8) This RM10 dress I thrifted
Price: RM10
I love this dress so much. It fits me just nice. I love the design. AND it's RM10. It's from H&M. This dress brought me so much joy! Bought it from 2nd Street SS15!
Price: RM39 (thank you 11.11 sale! Original price was RM129)
Wireless earbuds are an absolute gamechanger. These wireless earbuds gives me the freedom to walk around, perform my mundane everyday mundane task (Eg: put the kettle on, make coffee) while listening to podcasts.
I used to have a Jabra wireless earphone many years ago but I don't use it often as it doesn't fit comfortably on my ears, the Bluetooth connectivity was kinda slow, and the battery life was short-ish, even though that cost me almost RM200+! (PS this was like back in 2016, and I believe wireless products now have much better connectivity and battery life)
I was a little sceptical when I first purchased this, I only bought it because it was on sale, RM39, from RM129 :P Happy to report that I'm loving it! The fit of Xiaomi's one felt much better, the Bluetooth connection has always been fast an on point and battery life is not bad, a full charge typically last me around 4 hours :)
I have to say though last week one side of the earphone just stopped working, despite my numerous attempts of trying to restart it. It then miraculously started working again after. a few days...hmmm, let's hope it stays like this!
I WAS RATHER APPREHENSIVE WHEN I BOUGHT THESE. Because it seems too good to be true. Linene shorts??? RM9.84??? Whattt???? Reviews were also mixed, but I decided to give it a go since it's only RM9+
I bought four pairs at once just to qualify for free shipping. And my gosh these shorts the comfiest pair of shorts ever. I'm so glad I bought four of these in different colours. I wear them at home as my house wear, wear them to jogging, and sometimes I wear them out too.
The only thing I don't really like about these pants are the pockets - they are made out of polyester which feels flimsy. But hey, they're not visible AND they cost less than RM10 each AND I wear them at least once a week which makes their average cost per wear super worth it.
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I'm trying to deduce if there are any patterns I can observe from my best buys of 2020, and it seems like cheap but good quality clothing is one of them x) Also, things I use every day (Flintan chair, bamboo foldable lap desk, pillow & face mask) and things that support my hobbies (cast iron skillet & stand mixer) are other trends I notice :)
Now let's move on to the worst purchases I've made for the year 2020.
Worst Purchases
Disclaimer: worst purchase doesn't mean that they're horrible items. It may be things that are great but just that I didn't really need it or it doesn't fit my lifestyle.
1) Suit from G2000
Price: RM200+
Don't get me wrong. G200's clothing is great. I love their styles and their fit is tailored more for petite Asian built body. It's not that the quality is bad, but I've only worn it once just because...we went into lockdown one month after my purchase. And hence, one of my worst purchase.
I was rushing to do a complete overhaul of my wardrobe last year, probably due to peer pressure and also I felt that my closet was too cikgu. I remember spending hundreds on new work clothes during the first two months into my new job.
From this experience, I learnt to not rush into buying clothes.
2) Cheap earphones
Price: RM10-20
Note: Cheap doesn't necessarily equate to bad. I know there are cheap earphones that are well-built and of good quality but somehow...I've been unlucky T_T
I bought a couple of pair of earphones for RM9.90 on Shopee and Lazada...and in just about 2-3 of them failed on me after a month or so of usage :( One of them got snagged on something when I was jogging and one side just stops functioning.
Perhaps the problem is in me, the end-user, for being rather careless. But I can't help but feel that I've just wasted money and resources when I had to change earphones every one month or so when they fail on me :/ Perhaps I should invest in one that is much more sturdy, shock-resistant one.
I am currently using earphones from Xiaomi (bought at RM39) and they've been serving me well for about 2 months. Please let it last long.
3) This blue off-the-shoulder top from Jin Hayari
Price: Somewhere between RM50-70
Sneezing in 3...2...1...
Now similar to (1), don't get me wrong. I absolutely love Jin Hayari. I've a pair of skorts I got from them that I adored greatly.
In fact, I bought the skorts along with this top because you can get 50% off the second item you purchase. I bought the top feeling 50/50 about it.
I've only worn it once since my purchase in July 2020. Somehow I feel that it doesn't really resonate with my personal style and hence I am kinda regretting this purchase.
4) Kitchen Timer from Daiso
Price: RM5.60
It went bust less than one month after purchase :( Again, it might be just me. Because I've bought their kitchen timer before and that one lasted me for at least a year.
I also realised that I can't change the batteries for these? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I can't seem to remove the batteries from the battery slot.
I'd prefer to buy one that is sturdier, knowing how clumsy I am as a person. ANd preferably one which batteries I am able to replace to reduce wastage.
This is a neat product - this watering sensor starts flashing when your plant needs water - perfect for fussy plants.
The watering sensor is helpful for fussy plants like the calathea, they act out dramatically when you miss watering
HOWEVER. I've stopped using it after it ran out of battery, and I have no idea where I've place it...
It is a good product, just that nowadays I learnt how to gauge whether or not my plants need watering. Or perhaps it's because I'm home much more often now so I can roughly tell whether my plants need watering.
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My Takeaway
1) Never rush into buying things
Unless they're essentials that you need (eg: food, medicines)
Do your research. Try to compare the different prices on different platform or shops.
Things typically will go on sale. Be wise when you want to make your purchase. If you know there's a sale coming up (eg: 9.9, 10.10), you might want to check out if the product will have any additional offers, or your card provider/bank might throw you some additional coupons/vouchers!
For example my stand mixer. I could have waited till 12.12, or Black Friday to steal some deals. I admit that was rather rash of me to rush into the purchase and I was feeling quite down about it for a while, which lead me to my next point
2) To not beat yourself up for "bad" purchases
It happens. No point beating yourself up. If you really regret it, check the refund policies (but please don't abuse it!) and see if you can make a refund.
This is why I am extremely careful with my clothes purchases, especially online.
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Definitely, I want to be more mindful when buying stuff. To properly think through whether I need that item, will I be using that item every day, would it bring vast improvement to my life.
